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After Divorce

Dealing with Loneliness After Divorce: Ways to Reconnect and Find Joy

November 03, 20253 min read

Divorce changes everything about your life, including your routines, relationships, and sense of belonging. After a divorce, one of the hardest things for many people to deal with is being alone. It can be hard to deal with the quiet at home, the lack of a partner, and the change in social circles. But being alone doesn't have to be the main thing about this part of your life. You can reconnect with yourself, fix relationships, and find happiness again if you take the right steps.

Why Loneliness Hits So Hard After Divorce

When someone you've lived with is gone, it leaves a big hole in your life. Divorce can change your relationships with friends, family, and even who you are every day. It's not just that you miss your ex; you have to get used to a new way of life.

Note: Studies show that people who have been divorced are more likely to be alone, which can be bad for their mental and physical health. The first step toward healing is to admit that this is a problem.

Practical Ways to Deal with Loneliness After Divorce

1. Rebuild Your Social Circles

  • Get in touch with old friends you may have lost touch with.

  • Take part in community events, classes, or clubs.

  • Talk to other people who have been through a divorce; it will make you feel less alone.

2. Focus on Self-Rediscovery

It can feel like losing part of who you are when you get divorced. Use this time to find out who you are when you're not married.

  • Try new things or go back to things you used to love.

  • Write down your thoughts and goals.

  • Instead of rushing into a new relationship, work on yourself.

3. Build a New Routine

Making structure helps fill in the gaps that are left behind.

  • Do things like exercise, meditate, or write in a journal every morning to start your day.

  • Set goals for each week to keep yourself going.

  • Do volunteer work or take on projects that give you a sense of purpose.

4. Prioritize Mental and Physical Health

  • Working out regularly lowers stress and makes you feel better.

  • Eat healthy foods to keep your energy up.

  • If you feel like you're too lonely, get help from a professional.

Emotional Strategies to Overcome Loneliness

Practice Self-Compassion

After a divorce, it's normal to feel alone. Don't judge yourself; be kind to your feelings instead.

Shift Your Mindset

Instead of thinking of alone time as "empty," think of it as a chance to recharge and grow.

Stay Connected Digitally

If you find it hard to connect with people in person, use social media, online communities, or video calls to get help.

Rediscovering Joy After Divorce

Healing isn't just about getting better; it's about getting better. Start with a small step:

  • Go out by yourself to a coffee shop, movie, or hiking trail.

  • Go on a trip or see new places.

  • Make up traditions just for you and your kids (if you have kids).

Tip: Joy doesn't always come in big events. It can often be found in small, planned actions.

Key Takeaways

  • After a divorce, it's common to feel lonely, but this feeling doesn't last long.

  • Rebuilding social ties and routines can help people who feel alone.

  • For long-term healing, it's important to take care of yourself, get emotional support, and rediscover yourself.

  • You can use loneliness as a chance to grow and be happy if you give it time and thought.

blog author image

Kevin Van Liere

Divorce Coach, CEO of Rebuilders International

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He began working with his clients in groups and eventually found that there are 19 “steps” that people must work through to effectively “Rebuild” their lives. From this work he wrote the book “Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends.” We still use this book as a reference in our classes. Since he wrote the book over 30 years ago we have learned a lot and the program has evolved considerably. Now we find that there are more “steps” and that there are some elements that Dr. Fisher wasn’t aware of or misunderstood. However, he still created a powerful foundation for the program that we run today.

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